invoking | 『 capeandcowl • contact 』

[ He realizes how awkward this is becoming. ]

I'm sorry. I've never... you know, so I'm not quite sure what to say.

I wasn't going to mention it. Truthfully. [ He clears his throat. ] Really, it's fine. All it means is that I'll have more time on my hands.

[ A beat. ]

It's not because of me, is it? [ Maybe because of interrupting them that one evening. HJ seemed like the kind of person who would lash out at others and Gil felt partly responsible now. ] If I created a problem...

[ Nelson looks surprised. ]

No, not at all. It's my fault, I got him angry with me when I really should have known better. You didn't have anything to do with it, it-- [ His face goes a little red and he continues more quietly: ] wasn't the first time something like that happened.

[ The ice pack is going to melt at this rate. He picks it off the counter and heads to the fridge, opening up the freezer to put it inside. ]

Forgive me for this -- I hate to ask so bluntly, but he didn't hurt you, did he?

Hurt me?

[ It's Nelson's instinct to say "yes," though he wouldn't mean it in the way Gil probably assumes. The abandonment, for instance, feels far worse to him than any pain. Carefully: ]

...How do you mean?

As in... hit you or something. [ He quickly shakes his head, realizing how it all sounds. ]

[ Nelson's face goes a bit redder. It isn't really an easy thing to explain, particularly (he imagines) to someone as shy as Gil. ]

N-no. Of course not. [ A beat. ] He isn't as cruel as you think he is.

[ He finds it difficult to believe. ]

I only wanted to make sure.

[ Nelson exhales a little slowly. ]

I tell him when he does something I don't like, Gilbert. I know how to stand up for myself.

[ Usually. ]

I wasn't trying to imply otherwise.

He cared about me.

[ Nelson glances down. ]

He always knew better.

But he left...

[ He trails off, realizing that wasn't the best thing to say. ]

[ He puts his face in his hands. ]

Well he used to care. He wouldn't hur-- he wouldn't l-leave without a reason.

Sorry, I --

Did he even say why? He didn't give you a reason at all?

[ Miserably, Nelson shakes his head. ]

I didn't know he wasn't coming back. B-but he's been angry at me for a while.

For what?

I told him... [ He hesitates, biting his lower lip. ] I told him something unsavory about his future.

[ Oh.

He's been there before. Technically, he still is in a way. Oz doesn't know it was his own father who cast him into the Abyss. ]

Something bad happens.

[ Nelson put his face back in his hands, shoulders shaking slightly. He takes a deep breath, nodding. ]

I just wanted to tell him the truth, b-but... [ With a sigh. ] I know it was a mistake. I probably ruined everything.

I don't doubt it's difficult to swallow the truth, but he shouldn't be angry with you for being honest.

[ It's easy to side with Nelson here. ]

[ Peering over, Nelson frowns anxiously, wondering if he should elaborate to Gil any.

Instead he just says: ]

That's kind of you to say. [ He doesn't like thinking or knowing he's done the wrong thing, even when it's obvious. But the guilt is too overwhelming. ] I don't think he's going to forgive me.

[ He can't help but scoff. As if HJ has the moral high ground here. ]

That man... such an annoying personality.

Don't say that.

[ It's automatic, the urge to defend him. Nelson clears his throat. ]

You don't understand him.

[ He's perplexed by the growing defensiveness in the other man. Nobody can be that blind to such obvious faults in a man in HJ. He's obviously ignoring it. ]

He doesn't respect you! And you don't deserve that.

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