invoking | 『 capeandcowl • contact 』

You're not, Mr. Nelson.

[ Now who's being the evasive one? He watches him closely. ]

It's just... if he did something...

[ Nelson doesn't make eye contact, though he shakes his head. ]

All he did is leave, Gilbert. If anyone did anything it was probably me. [ He puts his water down. ] You don't have to worry.

[ He bites down on his bottom lip, struggling to tell him the truth.

No, he definitely can't seeing Nelson like this. ]

You're being too hard on yourself. He's a difficult person, it seems like.

He always has been. But I thought that we -- well, it isn't important. Us both being here doesn't have to mean anything.

[ He puts his hands back on his knees, finally looking over at Gil. ]

And I can't make him do anything.

[ What can he say to that? Gil's thoughts are blank. Nelson has basically been dumped.

Gil's never known what to say in situations like that. ]

You're a strong person, Mr. Nelson.

[ NAILED IT?? ]

[ IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE. Or. Not uneffective, anyway... Nelson rubs his neck a little idly and says as calmly as he can manage: ]

Well, I-- you never know what direction life is going to take. People leave all the time. We, um... [ Sheepishly he glances down. ] We could talk about something else, I'm sorry.

[ He realizes how awkward this is becoming. ]

I'm sorry. I've never... you know, so I'm not quite sure what to say.

I wasn't going to mention it. Truthfully. [ He clears his throat. ] Really, it's fine. All it means is that I'll have more time on my hands.

[ A beat. ]

It's not because of me, is it? [ Maybe because of interrupting them that one evening. HJ seemed like the kind of person who would lash out at others and Gil felt partly responsible now. ] If I created a problem...

[ Nelson looks surprised. ]

No, not at all. It's my fault, I got him angry with me when I really should have known better. You didn't have anything to do with it, it-- [ His face goes a little red and he continues more quietly: ] wasn't the first time something like that happened.

[ The ice pack is going to melt at this rate. He picks it off the counter and heads to the fridge, opening up the freezer to put it inside. ]

Forgive me for this -- I hate to ask so bluntly, but he didn't hurt you, did he?

Hurt me?

[ It's Nelson's instinct to say "yes," though he wouldn't mean it in the way Gil probably assumes. The abandonment, for instance, feels far worse to him than any pain. Carefully: ]

...How do you mean?

As in... hit you or something. [ He quickly shakes his head, realizing how it all sounds. ]

[ Nelson's face goes a bit redder. It isn't really an easy thing to explain, particularly (he imagines) to someone as shy as Gil. ]

N-no. Of course not. [ A beat. ] He isn't as cruel as you think he is.

[ He finds it difficult to believe. ]

I only wanted to make sure.

[ Nelson exhales a little slowly. ]

I tell him when he does something I don't like, Gilbert. I know how to stand up for myself.

[ Usually. ]

I wasn't trying to imply otherwise.

He cared about me.

[ Nelson glances down. ]

He always knew better.

But he left...

[ He trails off, realizing that wasn't the best thing to say. ]

[ He puts his face in his hands. ]

Well he used to care. He wouldn't hur-- he wouldn't l-leave without a reason.

Sorry, I --

Did he even say why? He didn't give you a reason at all?

[ Miserably, Nelson shakes his head. ]

I didn't know he wasn't coming back. B-but he's been angry at me for a while.

For what?

I told him... [ He hesitates, biting his lower lip. ] I told him something unsavory about his future.

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